How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

thumb_up thumb_down +33

homework

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +33

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I share two rooms with my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops