A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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i'm funny

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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women's rights.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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