How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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hey

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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