What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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ME NAME IS JEFF

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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donald................duck for president

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A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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