How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Answer The Following!! Q: How Do You Kill Bee?? Q: What Do You Call A Bee Who Live In America?? Q: Why Don't You Give Elsa A Balloon??

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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