What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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GONNA

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Women Driving.

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Minecraft.

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wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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