Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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your mother hates you

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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