two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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