What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +62

what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +42

EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +40

12

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops