It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I can't see my forehead

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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