Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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agp

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops