knock knock whos there not me

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Poop

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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