What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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The BCS

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Your mom is so fat...

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Knock knock. Come in.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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