Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

one day i went to bed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What causes floods? Too much water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two english guys meet at work

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops