What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Land Rovers

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Roey Jegen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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