What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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pineapples

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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Womens' Rights

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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