A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A homosexual walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops