What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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wanna hear a joke. i do to

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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hey bill!

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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