What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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your mother hates you

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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