How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

What's brown and smelly? Poop.

when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

I just can't stand sitting down!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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