"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Chicken penis.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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