What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Minecraft.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Hi

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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