What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

Why did the baby die? Abortion

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

Your Mom.

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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