How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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*spongebob voice* 25

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops