how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down -33

see ya

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops