Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

KKK

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

I enjoy anal.

How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

why is john so fat years of over eating

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...