Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops