Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops