What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Your time.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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