Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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penus

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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That's what she didn't say

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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fruit salad?

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Pinus Testicles

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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