What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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