What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my friend is gay hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Luke Hardie is G@Y

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops