What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

Women's rights

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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