fack me in the ace! CC

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

What's funnier than 24? 25

What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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