Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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