What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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I lost my tractor.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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