What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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Minecraft.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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