I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Twenty-Four

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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