Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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