what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Spread the net.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Needless to say,

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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