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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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