how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Racial Equality.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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