*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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