What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Im ashamed of being from Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -159

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

thumb_up thumb_down +4

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops