My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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