What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

Get me a sandwich, bitch

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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