What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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