Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Sac

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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