Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

An boy with ADHD walks into a

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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