Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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I lost my tractor.

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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