Oh no! My life is ruined!

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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IU football

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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GONNA

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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