Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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kiss me?

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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