do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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Proof reading

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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