If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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whats a dick a dick

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Mitt Romney penis

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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