How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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