Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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she wasn't 18

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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